Working out makes me a little too hungry for the wrong thing...

And no, it's not sex but that would probably be a much more interesting post so if someone has that problem then by all means please do write about it. Anyway, remember how I told you that I'm turning into a werewolf. I pretty much promised to list out the reasons why I thought so but I've been much too distracted these past few days to do so. I mean, obviously, since I am turning into one, I have problems focusing and I always feel restless. I know what you're thinking. Perhaps I have ADD or it's my unruly anxiety. Thank you for trying to make me feel better but I am pretty sure this ends with a muscle shifting, bone crunching, agony filled change against my will once a month for the rest of my life. Though I should probably point out that having ADD or manic anxiety are no walks in the park and without medication might perhaps feel similar to changing into a werewolf but what the hell do I know so I'm just going to stop talking.

Oh yeah, wait, I can't stop talking, I have to explain at least one reason why I am in fact turning into a beast soon. Okay, so I've been working out more again. I used to run Cross Country in middle school and all throughout high school. Before you get too excited I was extremely slow and usually got last but i never walked during a race and I got to where  could run up to 5 miles before stopping. *obligatory pat on the back and mundane participation award* Well, even though my body was not really built for running, I always loved it and the focus and peace it gave me so I tried various times after high school to start it again. My problem is I always tried to find a buddy and, let's face it, there aren't very many people who would consider running a few miles early in the morning before work or on the weekend a good time. I've accepted that I will have to be a lone runner, and a slow but happy one at that. But Amanda, how is any of this relevant to becoming a werewolf?

It all adds up.

I'm glad you asked non-existent reader. After a workout many people experience a craving for something sweet, salty, and/or full of carbs. That makes sense I suppose, carbs fuel a runner well. I, however, do not crave pretzels, candy, cookies, or fruit. I crave meat. And when I say meat I mean steak. And though I am a fan of well done, after a work out it doesn't really matter if it's closer to rare (though thankfully I put my fut down at raw so the change isn't too far along I suppose). Do I eat meat after a workout? No, I try to resist it. I don't want to start attacking people because I let myself make the full change. What sort of almost werewolf person would I be if I allowed that to happen? Not a very good one. Though I guess if I were for the change and a violent person then it could be seen as a "good" one but that it not the case so just forget I even said anything about it. I've just realized though that I must not have a werewolf stalked unless he/she has been stalking me since high school since the need for meat after a workout started then (though I think that wasn't until junior year). Maybe I have a recessive werewolf gene. I don't know whether that is worse or better. I remember late, after having run 4 or 5 miles (real runners will scoff at this) after school I'd want to get Chipotle.

Anyone who has ever gone to Chipotle knows that that is a hell of a lot of food. A steak burrito holds alot of steak, and that is what I always would go for. Even if I didn't finish the burrito the steak would be what I at the most of. I know I know, now I'm not very ladylike or whatever. Every time I got really hungry during work at Circuit City (one of 3 jobs I've had) I'd go across the street on my lunch break and bring back a steak burrito hoping no one in the back would notice but too hungry to care if there was. Besides the usual ridiculous sexual innuendos about the "big burrito" I was holding and about to put into my mouth, I usually got the look of disbelief that I would eat such a thing. By the way, I never really understood that innuendo. I mean, sure it's big and could be compared to a penis, sure. But if you then take the leap to me eating it would be like performing oral it just gets kind of scary. Instead of a porno, I see a horrific scene involving me ripping the flesh open with my teeth. Is that a turn on for guys? Me + big Chipotle steak burrito = cannibalistic grossness? Bleh, don't make me think of such things.

Enough said.

Great. Now the one follower I might have acquired has left running for the hills. Thanks alot perverted and disturbed coworker for making me drudge up disgusting sexual references. Anyways, addressing the disbelief section before the horrific side story, they would always look at me like "Wait, you're a girl, you should be eating salads or cute little sandwiches, not big burritos full of meat." Well, I'm sorry, but if i haven't eaten all day and my lunch break is really more of a dinner break I don't crave vegetables or petite things. I'm turning into a werewolf, give me a break. Apparently, I'm not a girl because I like food and could never pass for being a vegetarian even one day. Don't get me wrong, I love vegetables too, especially after I've had some beef, chicken, ham or turkey. I'm sorry. I'm a bad human being but at least I absolutely love broccoli. I'll have you know that I now eat chicken instead of steak on my burrito and I put corn and lettuce on it too. Everybody knows that that cancels out the sour cream, hot salsa, cheese and tortilla. Ha. That reminds of the people who order a hot dog, a large nachos with extra cheese and then start to order a small Pepsi, stop, and say, "You know what? Make it a large Diet Pepsi," then they laugh and pat themselves on the back or at least they would if they could even reach. Can you tell I used to work in a snackbar? Anyways, I'm sorry for the run-on sentences, the gross sexy cannibal stuff, and the fact that you might have to hide from me whenever there is a full moon. But hey, you know what? Things could be worse. Sometimes, if I have a shitty day, I don't need alcohol, I don't need drugs, I just need a g*ddamn burrito.